Out of Control: The NFL Draft

The NFL Draft: Not your ordinary lottery!

Last week, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was quoted as saying that, “We have not found a saturation point for pro football.”  While I completely agree with this statement over here in Europe, I’m not so sure that is true in the United States.  Case in point: this past weekend’s NFL Draft.

 The NFL Draft, for those of you who don’t know, is where the 32 clubs that make up the National Football League select among the top amateur players from college football to join their teams in the hope that one day they will lead them to the Super Bowl.  Since I have been playing in Europe, I had not seen the Draft in a few years.  But I was back home in the United States visiting family over the weekend when I got completely blind-sided by how much this modern phenomenon has grown.  Every direction I turned, it was there: every article in the local newspaper, every hour of the day on ESPN (and ESPN2), and every other person I passed on the street was focused on this seemingly “boring” event (I could tell about the people because they were wearing jerseys and had their faces painted in team colors, even though it was the middle of April). 

It got me thinking that this annual ritual is probably completely foreign to European fans, and something that to the outside observer might find a little odd.  Let me explain a few peculiarities, just in the first few selections:

 #1 Pick Matt Stafford: More Bucks than Brady

The first pick of the draft, quarterback Matt Stafford from the University of Georgia, was rewarded by his new club, the Detroit Lions, with an NFL record $71 million USD contract.  THIS IS ALMOST $30 MILLION USD MORE THAN 3-TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPION QUARTERBACK TOM BRADY IS PAID!  (Brady was drafted in the sixth round back in 2000.)  Is this fair?

 

The most peculiar thing about the draft, above and beyond the media coverage or dollars involved, is that NFL teams base their selections (for the most part) on the physical testing of athletes in just a few standardized tests, such as the 40-yard dash and the bench press.  A few hundredths of a second might mean the difference of millions of dollars to a potential draft pick.  Michael Crabtree, the best receiver to come out of college football in the last few years, slipped all the way to #10 because an injured foot kept him from running a 40 yard dash.  It will be interesting to see how Oakland will feel about this in a few years, having passed on him with the 7^th pick to select Darrius Heyward-Bey (who?) out of Maryland.  As one website suggested, “He is the king of ‘measurables’ – big, strong, and fast – but wasn’t even a dominant player in college.”  One would expect the 7^th player in the draft taken to have at least dominated in college!  He didn’t have the best quarterback throwing to him, but there were games where he didn’t even have a catch! And the Raiders justify taking him over Crabtree because of a tenth of a second in the 40?  I hope they are right!

 

I still remember back to when I was coming out of college and had my own turn as a piece of “fleish.”  (I would have used the German word had I known it then!)  I was paraded in front of 150 NFL Scouts at an all-star game, commanded to take off my shirt, and turn circles while they all jotted notes.  I imagined they were writing things like, “Amazing biceps,” “Shaped like a Greek God,” or perhaps, “Should be a male model.”  But instead, they were probably jotted down, “How did this guy break all the records at the University of Arizona?”  You see, I wasn’t an “on-paper” superstar such as a guy like Matt Stafford, and that probably explains my short stint in the NFL, and why I am playing over here in Europe.

 

Over here in Europe, things are a little different.  I signed with my first European club based on a few emails and two phone-calls (mostly centered on whether or not I would receive free pasta in Italy).  SWARCO Raiders receiver Matt Epperson needed a sponsorship for free donuts from a local donut shop in Finland during his first European season just to get by on his meager salary.  Things are just on a different scale here.  But I think that’s what makes the game more ‘PURE’ – because we are doing it for the love of the game, not for the fame or money coming our way.  (Although a few donuts are always nice!)  

Sauna Time!

I thought I'd get a few weird looks if I brought my camera into the sauna, so I downloaded this picture from the internet, trying to depict the quite foreign European Sauna Experience

As I go about my everyday life in Europe, I have discovered that there are a number of daily activities that are very normal to Europeans – that a local would never even think about here – that Americans find absolutely absurd.  For instance, the approximate percentage of smokers under the age of thirty (about 97%) or the fact that one must pay for ketchup at McDonald’s.  But there is one situation completely foreign to American culture that I must discuss, the culture of the sauna.

 

When I say “the sauna,” I mean the culture of taking off all your clothes and sitting with a number of strangers in a really hot room.  This is something that some European cultures absolutely love, and something that Americans would select only if “public humiliation” and “death by firing squad” were their only other alternatives.I must preface all of this by saying that the attitude towards nudity in the United States is much different than it is here in tolerant Europe.  In America, being naked is not something we do well, and strive to keep to a minimum.  There are almost no nude or topless beaches.  There is an uproar anytime something even remotely risqué appears on the television or newspaper.  Put it this way, Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” at the Super Bowl went as far as being debated by the American Congress!  Yet here in Europe, being naked is no big deal, whether in the media or especially in the sauna.  For instance, it was a favorite pastime for my American comrades while playing in Italy to look at the advertising posters – almost exclusively featuring a scantily clad female looking lustfully at the camera – and try to guess whether the semi-clad senora was posing for a bank or a cough medicine, because there was really no way to tell.  This must be why those at the local sauna feel so comfortable sitting around naked, talking as if they are at the office or even sharing a drink at the naked sauna bar.

 

Every North American has a different reaction to their first spa experience, as communal nudity simply does not occur back home.  I tried to explain the spa to my unbelieving parents, focusing on the health benefits and the relaxing way it makes me feel, but all they kept asking me is, “They do what?  And they’re… naked?”  My SWARCO Raiders teammate Alex Hoad, a native of Canada, spontaneously knocked over an entire rack of towels after unsuspectingly running face-first into a naked female in the coed shower.  My wife, already aware of the situation during her first time, didn’t know where to look for fear that someone would think she was looking inappropriately at them.  Using the “floor and ceiling” technique she developed as a sports-reporter in locker rooms back in North America, she successfully navigated her way into the large dry sauna, where suddenly she was sitting sandwiched between two naked, older men.  She looked at me in horror.  Feeling completely helpless, she whispered to me the funniest thing I have ever heard her say, “There is wiener schnitzel… everywhere!”

 

So trying to make an American feel comfortable shedding all of his or her clothes and sitting naked in a room full of strangers is no easy task.  At least for me, I have been in locker rooms with men my whole life.  Women, though, is a whole new thing for this football player.  All I can say is that we are trying, however I can tell you first-hand that one cannot fully understand the word “uncomfortable” until you’ve suddenly found yourself surrounded in a room full of naked Tiroleans, with a wrinkled leader speaking in a foreign language while banging a loud gong (which obviously meant that the Finnish or Russian style sauna was about to begin.) 

 

However, as with everything in Europe, soon you begin to see things from a new perspective and find an appreciation for it.  Now going to the sauna is something my wife and I look forward to as a relaxing part of our day.  I personally just can’t wait to take my parents there when they visit.  

~ J. Twice

A Minnesota Visit

The Johnson Clan

While playing football and traveling are two things I enjoy immensely, there is also a time when you realize that family is the most important thing in life.  With this in mind, we decided to spend our bye week visiting my family in Minnesota instead of heading off to Spain, Ireland, or some other European adventure.  And I can say without a moment of hesitation that it was a great time! 

Bob and Lenore Johnson have been the corner of Shakopee and Sibley for almost 35 years.

My "fix-anything" Grandpa Bob has become known as the Bike Man to local kids as he has been selling & repairing used bikes for years.  If you are in the need for a good bike in Minneapolis, look him up!

Taking a spin on the riding lawn mower is about as Midwestern American as it gets.

We spent our time in Minnesota relaxing with family, sharing old stories, and playing cards.  This was a great change of pace from my usual "hurricane" lifestyle and blitzkrieg trips through Europe... and actually taught me a lot about myself.  At the same time, there was a brand new Gold's Gym around the corner from my grandparent's house, and I was able to capitalize on my body's time-change confused state to hold five consecutive  "6 am mid-season boot camp" workouts. 

3 Generations of Johnson golfers

One of the highlights of the trip was playing a round of golf with my dad, Jim, and Grandfather, Bob.  Golf has been a staple in our family for years, and to be out there on the course with them was a memory I won't ever forget!

Like father...

... like son...

... like grandson!

My 7-month pregnant sister Heather had also flown out from Washington, and it was great to see her too!  We threw her our own "1 minute shower" and gave her a couple small gifts to get her started!

Sister-In-Law photo op!

Christie showing her "beginner's luck" in the card game "GUTS" with my grandpa.

The family at church... not the same architecture as in Europe, but with a more comprehensible language

A Minnesota-style sunset over lake #8,341 out of 10,000.

Jason Johnson and Jason Johnson

One really interesting (and cool) sidenote is that my cousin Courtney is now married... to a man named JASON JOHNSON!  That's right... double J-Twice action!!!  Jason is an awesome guy (with a name like that, though, how could he not be???!!) and makes the name proud.  The only question is... with two J. Twice's around... does that make us, J-QUAD?

141 pound St. Bernard "Captain" was a little pooped at the end of the trip.

THANKS TO THE WHOLE MINNESOTA JOHNSON CLAN FOR ALL THE LOVE AND GOOD TIMES!!!

~ J. Twice

Heidelberg: The Best City you've Never Heard of

The Old Bridge sits below the Heidelberg Castle in central Germany.

With a few days off after our victory over the Black Lions, we were debating on what to do.  A phone call at 9am from Gonzalo changed all of that, "YO!  I GOT A CAR!  ROAD TRIP!"  Suddenly, we switched into trip planning mode, figuring out what to do with the next 48 hours before our bye-week practice.  We dipped a little bit into the history books, deciding on copying an old World War II tactic (and modern football term): the BLITZKRIEG.

BLITZKREIG DEFINED:

1940: A military doctrine of an all-mechanized force concentrating its attack on a small section of the enemy front then, once the latter is pierced, proceeding without regard to its flank."  A major tactic used by the Germans in World War II

2009: Jumping in a van and flying through as many countries as possible as fast as you can, having incredible life experiences and absorbing foreign cultures and traditions! 

Let's Roll... Blitzkrieg 2009

We jumped in the 9 passenger van and headed north.  We weren't exactly sure of our final destination, we only knew we wanted to go "north-west-ish" and hit a number of different spots.  Gonzalo started out behind the wheel, while I flipped through the guidebooks.  We settled on a preliminary plan of reaching the Rhine River valley in Northwest Germany the first night, then pushing on into Luxembourg and Brussels the next day.  Europe was at our fingertips, and we were about to ATTACK! 

I received a sign that stopping in Munich was going to be boring...

... George Contreras' off-season shipping business.

Our first stop was the small town of Heidelberg, Germany.  It is a very historic village that lies along the Neckar River, a branch of the Rhine, and fittingly sits in the middle of the "AMERICAN ZONE" of Germany that was set up after World War II.  The town was not destroyed during the fighting, and after the war the Americans made this the headquarters of American forces in all of Europe.  Very fitting for our blitzkrieg strategy!  I did not know this when planning our route - instead we were visiting for its large castle and characteristic Old Town.

Gonzalo's best fountain impression.

One of the best Old Towns we have encountered.

The boyz in the town square.

Christie finds a friend!  (Shocker)

Eye to Eye with her new little buddy.

Following proper Blitzkrieg protocol, we attacked the downtown core with full force, walking down historic streets, checking out the large castle, and exploring the main sites.  We found a sun-drenched patio, and enjoyed wheat beers (when in Germany look for the "Happy Monk") & good food.  The town has one of Germany's oldest and largest universities, giving the town a young vibe and an international flair.  (There is a Starbucks and Hard Rock Cafe in the Old Town.)

We only spent a couple hours here (due to Blitz tactics) but wished we had time to spend a couple days! 

The Happy Monk.

Prost!

The main drag.

Chilling on the Bridge...

You know what time it is... Jump Picture!!!

The Old Bridge shimmers in the late afternoon sunlight.

When exploring Germany, make sure to stop in this town!!!

~ J. Twice

Ladies and Gentlemen... Bacharach (Not Burt)

Quintessential Germany - the romantic Rhine River valley town of Bacharach.

The Grand Duchy of Luxembourg

Entering the Grand Duchy.

On our way to Belgium, we made a quick detour through the small independent nation of Luxembourg.  With Liechtenstein ranking so high on our list of favorite countries, perhaps another small, long-named nation beginning with "L" could be a cool place.  It is only 998 square miles big and lies on the cultural divide between the "Romance" empire (France, Belgium, etc) to the West and the Germanic Empire to the East, which provides both its official languages (French, Luxembourgish*, and German) and its culture.  It is extremely modern, and actually is a very rich and clean place, with the highest Gross Domestic Product per capita in the world.

* not offered in American High Schools

 

Does Duke live here?

Generic European Patios

Luxembourg is described as being a "parliamentary representative democracy with a constitutional monarchy."  I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it is ruled by GRAND DUKE.  Which prompted me to ask the blatant question, is he related to our own Coach Carl "Duke" Iverson?  I would have to see...

Luxembourg City does have a cool valley running down the middle, ancient walls, and 17km of underground tunnels.

Here is the square... but where are all the people?

We stayed in the city for about an hour.  We toured the sites, took a few pictures, and got back on the road.  I would make this blog more extensive, but I don't want to work on it longer than I was actually in a place.  We checked out the main square - which was a little like its description (square) - kind of just a generically European place.  Basically, my impression of visiting Luxembourg was that it was a rich place filled with bankers and diplomats, but there isn't anything really spectacular about in general from a tourist standpoint.  If you want to check off another country, stop by, grab a cappuccino in a caffé, but save the bulk of your time for the surrounding countries.  

"I DO NOT KNOW"

~ J. Twice