Today George and I made the 90 mile trek across the island (again) ... this time heading south to the famous ruins at Agrigento to check another important Sicilian landmark off the list. By the time our wives arrive, all we will have left to see is an obscure gas station somewhere on the Western Coast...
After slicing through the first 60 miles of our journey on the Autostrada (Sicily's fantastic freeway system, which we are quickly learning, the word stada can be substituted for 'baun and it would be accurate), we made the turn south towards the Mediterranean. After a few wrong turns from our sinister Garmin GPS system, we eventually made our way to the "Valley of the Temples" where some of the greatest ancient Greek/Roman/Nine-Other Conquering Societies ruins in the Mediterranean are located.
I can only say that I was awestruck at their overall size - as well as the ingenuity of the ancient builders to have put this together without a) computers, b) machines, c) Gatorade. (can you imagine the loss of electrolytes while lifting those suckers?).
Before going up to the actual site, we stopped at a picturesque (but then again, to me what isn't?) small restaurant, where we enjoyed "Tavola Calda" (literally, 'hot table' where you can pick up small pastries and little pizzas) and cappuccino... because my mom always told me never to look at ancient ruins on an empty stomach. After finishing, we waited for a half hour (or was that swimming?) and headed to the site.
Our first stop was the Temple of Hercules, sitting on a tall hill overlooking the sea. There were 8 vertical columns, each about 50 feet high. George reminded me about 10 times that they were "Doric" in nature, which I think means that they appeal to children, but I'm not sure. It was constructed about 400 BC to honor the 9-time defending world strongman title holder Hercules (back before ESPN covered it), who was also revered by the conquering Romans. The columns were actually knocked down, but put back in place during the 1920's to kickstart the local tourism industry. All in all, a very intro to ancient temples.
Temple of Conchord. (Not to be confused with HBO series Flight of the Conchords)
Our second stop was the Temple of Conchord. Although I thought it was built in the 70's to honor a supersonic aircraft, George corrected me that it was constructed in the BC's as well... and is so well preserved because a 6th century Christian/Catholic priest - Gregorio - converted it to a church, thus saving it from PC conquerers. In fact, Gregorio is the "Patron Saint of Conservation" -- and was known in ancient times for actually turning the aqueduct off when he brushed his teeth, and only washed his clothes in cold rivers. George, being the astute Catholic he is, told me that if I throw enough TD's this season I could become the "Patron Saint of Italian Quarterbacks." I do believe there is a waiting period, though, so don't look for any festivals until fall of '09.
The final, and most impressive temple, was the Temple of Juno. I started telling some nearby German tourists that it was actually dedicated to independent movies, and that if THE MOVIE wins Best Picture at the Oscars this year, then from now on, the first high school girl in Agrigento to get pregnant each year gets to have her baby adopted by the temple. They weren't buying it (or English in general), so George again corrected me with some historical babble about people who don't listen or something... I really wasn't paying attention. Anyway, got some really cool, artsy pictures, and that's all I really care about anyways... so check them out!
One final note, is that we also saw a really cool artifact that George correctly identified as the inspiration to the Michelin Man. Michelin tires are popular here in Sicily, so it has to be true. Apparently this "Michelin Man" stood about 20 feet tall and was used as a decoration figure on the sides of the temple, and in it's glory days, about 26 Michelin's per temple would be seen 'holding' up the temple. If I was one of the artisans, I think after a while (probably after doing 21 of the same guy) I would have got all cocky and made one that was actually only using one finger to hold it up, with a sly grin on his face saying, "You think this is tough?" I bet its there, we just haven't found it yet. Keep diggin' fellas!
All in all, it was a fantastic day, and I can now say that i am a 'GENTO-MAN!
~ J. Twice
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