I quickly caught the express train for downtown, and 15 minutes later I was in the heart of London. I checked into my hotel room (where I can spread my arms and touch both walls at the same time – and ironically room #6, my Italian football number), dropped off my luggage, and set out to see what London is all about.
KEY POINT: London is really cool.
That’s all you need to say. As I write this blog, I typically labour (yes, labour with a “u” – I’m in England after all, so I should speak the Queen’s English) over all my sentences, making sure that they are all very witty and well put-together. However, a description of London could be complete by saying that it’s just really cool.
The architecture is cool. The people are cool. The accents are cool. The dental hygiene and overall level of physical fitness aren’t really cool but the fact they don’t really care is in itself cool. The amount of green space and how the city flows together… cool.
HOWEVER, after spending less than 24 hours in this cool city, I have come across a number of ‘secrets’ that you might not know about London. People in North America have a sort of London stereotype, yet there are some funny things I noticed… and that’s why you’re reading this blog now, isn’t it? (That last phrase was designed to be said by someone with a British accent.)
Top Six Secrets of London
1. A POUND really weighs a POUND.
We all have an idea of how much a pound weighs... but let me tell you - the actual one dollar coin (aka the British Looney... also known as THE POUND) -- weighs exactly that much! (In my professional opinion.) I got my money changed at the airport, and was given 205 pounds (my weight, actually)... with the last 5 pounds coming in coins.
"These are heavy!" I exclaimed to the worker.
"Well... they are a pound now isn't it?" she replied.
And indeed it is. (Just don't go try running around with a pocket full of British coins... and don't even think about trying to get a British Two-ney!)
2. FISH & CHIPS: that’s FISH Singular.
Everyone talks about the world famous English Fish and Chips – so being in London I had to find out for myself. After walking a half-marathon across this great city, I stopped into a little pub just north of Piccadilly Circus (which, for those of you scoring along at home, isn’t really a circus). While most menu items were in the 3.50 to 5 pound range, fish and chips stood out at 7.95… however, I figured that I would be getting a large amount, so I figured it was no big deal.
When the fish arrived, wrapped in newspaper for authenticity, I discovered it was just ONE FISH... fish singular. Which got my mind working -- perhaps that is why the plural of the word FISH (which happens to be from English origin) -- is just FISH... that way when you order fish and chips, they don't have to tell you how many you are gonna get!
3. LONDON leads the world in TEXT MESSENGING.
When I was in Japan, no 1 on the street looked u in the eye. Now don’t jump to conclusions – it’s not because they were on average much shorter than me – it’s because it seemed everyone I passed was on a mission 2 get 2 where they were headed. No 1 looks you in the eye in London either – because EVERYONE is TEXT MESSENGING! *
* The sentence above was written in text message form using numbers to substitute for words when possible. That would take the average London person 18 seconds to type. SAC.
Now, almost all of my friends now “text” back in North America, but London takes it to a whole new level. Billboard ads beg customers to enter a ‘text contest.’ The newspaper ‘letters to the editor’ were actually ‘text messages to the editor.’ I asked my waiter at the pub about soccer tickets, and he gave me his number and said TEXT ME. I even saw 2 friends walking down the street together (ages 72 and 75 respectively) – and I think they were texting each other.
4. BIG BEN… not so BIG.
From all the pictures, you assume that BIG BEN is this monstrous tower arching high into the London skyline. This is not really the case. It is actually just the south tower of a very large building, probably no more than 7 or 8 stories tall, although the amount of detail in the architecture is extraordinary. From now on I am going to call it MEDIUM BEN.
5. ENGLISH SOCCER FANS: The best sports fans in the world.
Americans like baseball. Canadians like hockey. The British LOVE soccer.
Often, people think soccer fans and they immediately think HOOLIGANS. I found out during my trip to the Arsenal-Newcastle match that this is the furthest thing from the truth. I am going to devote an entire post to that match – however I must say that the fans were probably the high point of the experience for me. They were SO knowledgeable, SO loyal, and so RESPECTFUL of the game. I ran to use the bathroom during the first half and there WAS NOT A SINGLE PERSON on the concourse… and the attendance was over 60,000. Everyone was watching the game, and would not even consider missing a moment. It truly was amazing.
6. No late night fast food.
I’m not sure if this really is a secret, or even that insightful… yet it was the only heading that worked with my final London story for the day. After the soccer game, I headed back to my hotel… but didn’t stop to eat because there were a number of cool places around my hotel that I had seen earlier in the day. However, by the time I got back to the area – around 11:30pm – none were still serving food. I figured I would just ‘tough it out’ – and seeing as I did eat ONE large FISH and some chips earlier. However, I woke up at 2:30am local time with the biggest hunger pain I think I’ve ever experienced. (And it was dinner time – 6:30pm – back in Edmonton).
Unable to sleep, I slipped on my flip-flops and headed out the door. Across the street was a gas station: closed. I walked 3 more blocks – nothing. (As if on cue, a heavy rain began to fall). A few more blocks – nothing. (Rain now turns into downpour). Remembering Victoria train station – I jog a half mile more to one of London’s biggest stations: nothing. I stop to ask a few people, and am directed to a “kabob shop” that might be open about a block away.
And that’s how I ended up at 3am, eating my dinner soaking wet, wearing flip-flops, at a little joint called FLAMER’S GRILL. (Insert own sarcastic comment here: _______________.)
THAT is what traveling is all about.
~ J. Twice
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