Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Johnson Parade Postponed


In other news from Italy, the parade in honor of Jason Johnson – American Quarterback – has been indefinitely suspended due to crowd control issues and a reported terrorist threat.

Originally scheduled for Tuesday, February 5, 2008, Catania officials were expecting crowds of around 200,000 for the inaugural event and speculating that it could be the “most highly attended parade of the 2008 festival season.”  However, unable to secure proper crowd control measures and to ensure the safety of the new Elephant Player, who was to be carried through the city in a clear plastic box (like the pope uses), officials were forced to postpone the event.

“We are all very disappointed,” said a high-ranking Catania official, who spoke on the condition that his identity would remain secret, “Jason’s arrival has brought much excitement to the Elephant program and to the city as a whole.  In fact, the estimated economic impact of his arrival in terms of Gelato sales has already been immeasurable.”

George Contreras, Elephant Defensive Coordinator, was equally disappointed, “I was hoping to finally see a REAL parade in Catania, which I’m sure this would have been.  Most parades in Catania have either fireworks or a brass band – Jason’s would have had BOTH.”

Teammate Matthew Epperson was unavailable for comment, as his mouth was full of Cannoli.

For further news on the parade, please stay tuned to reallyplayingforpizza.blogspot.com

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jason - I spent my college days rooming with George. Based on my experiences, you can trust that your sicilian adventure will be enhanced due to George's presence. We watched Superbowl III (Jets/Namath vs Colts); any guesses on who George was rooting for?
Lorenzo