Our Visit to the Vatican Museum was absolutely fascinating, and opened my eyes to many intriguing stories that I had no idea of before. While ART in a book is just another picture or statue, when you know the story behind it you start to realize how interesting it can be. In fact, while "They" (Who are THEY and why do THEY get to be the experts, anyways?) say you should read about the history of an area before you visit, so that it comes to life... I am finding the opposite to be true - my visits have made me want to read more NOW that I have seen places like Versailles, the Vatican, and the Colosseum.
That being said, here's a number of "funny" statues and stories that I found on my trip to the Vatican that I thought could be of interest:
The subject of the statue on the right is unknown... but I think it has an uncanny resemblance to Bill Clinton.
This tapestry, one of over 20 commissioned to be done by Raphael (the artist, not the Ninja Turtle), is of Jesus' resurrection and coming out of the tomb. The crazy thing about this tapestry is that Jesus' eyes FOLLOW YOU as you walk by. Of course, I did it 8 times to be sure, and it absolutely blows your mind. Too bad Raphael died at the age of 36 from Syphilis.
What is this? If you guessed Roman Bath, like me, than you would be wrong. The was a pagan burial tomb used before Rome became an empire. They would put the body inside this and close the lid, and then the holes in the bottom (not pictured) would allow worms to crawl inside and eat the flesh. Anyone want to go have breakfast now?
Speaking of Baths - this was Nero's. It is made out of a now extinct RED MARBLE, that is valued somewhere between $11,000 and $100,000... PER SQUARE INCH!!! That makes this, umm, really expensive. The Vatican owns 90% of the Red Marble in the World... and Bill Gates owns the other 10%.
This authentic statue is from Greece in the 3rd century BC. Yes, I know his body is very similar to mine... however the thing that stuck out in me is how they could make MOTION in the marble. Michaelangelo (also not just a Ninja Turtle) was fascinated by this sculpture and used it as an inspiration while doing the bodies on the Sistine Chapel.
Yes, we hear you yelling! Calm down!
Notice anything different about this statue? Yep, glass eyes... kinda spooky, but apparently back "in the day" all the statues had eyes. That makes walking through the Vatican at night extra scary to me.
This is a Bronze 5th Century Statue of Jose Conseco. It is amazing that an artist that early would know both the dimensions of a baseball bat (not invented until the 1800s) and that Jose would take steroids. Our guide corrected me that this was actually Hercules, but I told her that it we should just "agree to disagree."
Last but not least, the Goddess Diana. (Weird all these would be in a Christian Musuem?) She was the goddess of (you guessed it again!) FERTILITY. Insert own sarcastic comment here: ____________.
~ J. Twice
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